Majestic creature.

In the mirror I resemble a hairy dumpling with legs. I have a cut on my left foot so I hop like a stork. Asthma lately, I wheeze. There are no cockroaches in my new apartment, but once when I stood up too fast black spots crawled over my eyes and I bellowed “GNATS” and crashed into the ottoman.

terrible crossovers

For a thing recently I had to come up with the worst crossovers I could imagine so here they are.

A bad final season can’t erase the legacy of this HBO darling, which dives deep into the lives of guardsmen, sparrows, and street children caught up in the distribution of the city’s favorite vice: milk of the poppy. Winter is coming, so is local stickup man Omar Littlefinger. When you come at the King, you best not miss in A SONG OF ICE AND WIRE

On Labor Day, 1959, four young boys set out to locate the corpse of missing schoolmate Ray Brower, from which they contract a virulent strain of weaponized influenza which kills them and 99.4% of the human species. It’s Stephen King story you never knew you didn’t want: THE STAND BY ME

United under the God-Emperor Aslan, the forces of Narnia have conquered the known world. But when a playful kangaroo accidentally drop-kicks Aslan’s emissary down a well, his armies of apes and centaurs march on a tiny polity at the edge of the empire. In the face of impossible odds, Winnie, Piglet, Tigger and all the others must ripple their abs and form a phalanx, because the future of animal civilization is at stake in THE THREE HUNDRED ACRE WOOD

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Please help me get in touch with David Mace

I have recently become obsessed with a British writer of 80s technothrillers named David Mace. His work is sharp, painful, politically forward-looking (Nightrider features a multicultural egalitarian polycule of a starship crew) and venomously opposed to the political systems behind the sleekly amoral techno-military complexes which drive the plot (Nightrider never lets us forget that living in a multicultural egalitarian polycule doesn’t absolve you of the violence you’re doing). He vanished from the publishing world in the 90s, and he must be past seventy by now. I would love the chance to speak with him or to at least send him a fan letter. Unfortunately, his website is offline.

I am not active on social media, so I would appreciate it if people would help pass this call onward. If anyone, anywhere has a way for me to contact David Mace, I would be terribly grateful.